The Season of Darkness

The season of darkness is very nearly upon us. Each morning as I leave my house it's a little darker and it takes just a little longer before the sun comes up. I don't know if I've ever been so aware of the shortening days, but I work very early now and being able to literally see the days grow shorter has made me aware of winter's advent.

I used to love winter because of all the fun that it meant. Snow days, hot chocolate, snowmen and brisk chilly walks that make you appreciate the warmth of home. But some how I lost the pleasure of winter. I think it might have been around the same time that I began to understand that working adults don't get snow days and driving in snow when you have to be somewhere is scary.

The long, cold, endless, winter days eventually lead to Spring becoming my favorite time of year.

But then I began to celebrate Advent.

And slowly winter has become a special time for me again.

I love Advent. You wouldn't think that a time of darkness and waiting would bring an impatient lover of Spring much joy, but it does.

Oh how it does. I think it's because of what I'm waiting for. When the nights grow long and despair for Spring draws nigh, advent helps me cling to hope. I am not the first to wait and to hope. Once long ago a people waited and nearly gave up hope of ever being delivered from oppression. Long ago on a dark night a woman waited in great pain and great hope for a child to be delivered. For so many years a people have waited and hoped for the return of a man in triumph and in glory. These are my people and with great hope I wait with them.

O Come thou Dayspring
Come and Cheer our Spirits by thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
and Death's dark shadows put to flight
Rejoice!
Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee O Israel

Perhaps those stodgy Puritans had some inspiration when they celebrated harvest with a meal to give thanks for provision for the dark, hard months of winter. Undoubtedly the Church was right to practice a time of repentance and vigil to guide us into the Season of Christmas. We need hope. We need the promise of new life, whether that be simply Spring coming and provisions to make it until then, or whether that be the greater promise that death is not the end, but only the gate into a different and new life spent with the Creator.

We fall so easily into despair. Darkness and cold. Dead flowers, dormant trees. Winter can seem so hopeless. It draws into focus the hard things about life. Which is why we need the Advent season so very much. I appreciate the chance to think of and name all that I'm thankful for.

I look forward to the dark season where I name with my community the hope I have that the darkness and despair do not last forever; that my savior is coming again. I look forward to the day when the Messiah comes.

Ordinary time is coming to an end. Next week is the Feast of Christ the King, then Advent is upon us.

The season of waiting is coming. The season of hope and faith draws near.

Punched in the Gut Or Being Alone Sucks

It's probably overreaction, but after 'letting' a friend sign me up on a dating site and looking at the site and my 'matches' for several days, I just feel unbearably sad.

Before I did this, I could pretend that there was someone out there and I just hadn't met him yet, but this 'dating site' has brought to the forefront for me how unbearably hard it is to find someone and how rare it is the older you get that you will actually get married.

I think I have gone about dating completely wrong my entire life and now at 29 I'm beginning to honestly believe there just isn't someone out there with whom I could and would want to spend my life.

I'm not single for a season. I'm single for a reason.

I'm simply not the kind of person who other people want to marry. I'm outspoken and opinionated. I'm really very religious, but not in a conservative way. I'm female and highly educated. I'm overweight and under-motivated. I correct people's grammar and read Ancient Greek. Unless the Doctor is looking for a new companion, I'm pretty much doomed to walk the earth alone.

I've been saying that this was a seriously possibility to everyone else for a while now, so why do I feel like I just got punched in the gut?

Pitful whining and general self-sorryness OR Learning a valuable lesson

Today I was not invited to a party. Yes, you read that right. I wasn't invited to a party. It was a birthday party for a friend of mine that several of my friends asked me if I was going to--their assumption being that I was invited.

As already stated, I wasn't.

Now there are numerous events which I have not been invited to attend. This rarely bothers me. Are you having a party? Are we friends? No? Then who cares? Hope your party is fun. Sincerely.

But if we are friends and I'm not invited? Ouch.

That hurts.

However, valuable lesson here: Everyone feels like that at some point. It really sucks to think you are good friends with someone and find out that really you aren't. At least not from their point of view.

Remind me to invite everyone to my parties in the future...

A Pot of Tea and a Hot Bath

There are a lot of things that people turn to after a bad day. For some people it's their spouse. Others turn to alcohol. Some run or do some other form of exercise to burn off the demon of a lousy day. I've done all of these (well, not the spouse, but certainly my roommates or a friend), but lately all I want is a pot of tea and a hot bath.

In fact, I don't even have to have a bad day to want a pot of tea. Or a bath. I just happen to love both and find them infinitely relaxing.

The bath probably comes down to the simple warmth of the water and the supine position. It makes sense.

The pot of tea? I blame BBC.

That's right. I blame BBC. If they didn't produce such great television then I would not watch copious amounts of British programming and would never have been exposed to the love affair that is between the British and their tea.

And no one will ever convince me that there is not power in suggestion because I only have to think about Doctor Who and I start wanting a cup of tea. After all, tea will fix anything, even a broken TARDIS.

At this point any time I sit down to watch tv I want tea. We've been watching Saving Grace (just finished it in fact) and the act of pointing the remote at the screen triggers an instant desire for a cuppa. Saving Grace isn't even British. It's set in Oklahoma City. Just about as American as you can get. They never drink tea on Saving Grace. It's a good thing I haven't developed a desire to drink anything I see on television, because I would be a alcoholic after watching 3 seasons of that show.

No. It's not gin or whiskey that I want when Grace is pulling her stunts, busting bad guys or boffing her men. It's tea.

Good grief. Apparently the British invasion never ended.